


Spots and Stars

by NaughtyBees



Category: The Young Ones (TV 1982)
Genre: Fights, Fluff, Graphic depictions of bad teen snogging, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 19:22:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14027061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaughtyBees/pseuds/NaughtyBees
Summary: Vyvyan and Rick are VERY bad at keeping their relationship secret from their house mates. And Vyvyan really isn't helping.





	Spots and Stars

**Author's Note:**

> My half of an art trade with sundayfishfinger on tumblr!

“I'm pretty sure Mike isn't here. We don't need to do this, Vyvyan!” Rick complained as a heavy boot against the small of his back forced him into the cupboard, cramping him. 

“You’re the one who doesn't want anyone to know about us, sissy!” Vyvyan growled, stepping inside beside Rick. He slammed the door shut, looking at the self proclaimed anarchist expectantly, his philtrum cradling his septum ring in his usual pout. 

Rick grabbed Vyvyan’s lapels, attempting to pull him closer. When he didn't budge, raising his eyebrows and smirking through his pout in a way that told Rick he was doing it intentionally to annoy him, Rick sighed heavily and stood on his tiptoes. “You're a bastard.” Rick mumbled, leaning closer, tilting his head and brushing lips with Vyvyan, breath hitching slightly as his fingers ghosted the back of his neck. 

“Oh, for God’s sake!” Vyvyan cried, grabbing Rick by the pigtails and mashing his face against his own. The tenderness Rick was going for was instantly broken by rough chapped lips and an intruding tongue, making the brown haired man whine slightly. He grunted as Vyvyan reached around, cupping his bottom and squeezing it hard enough to make him yelp slightly. That would leave a bruise. But being with Vyvyan usually did. 

Both of them leapt apart as the cupboard was opened, light shining in on them as Neil stood there, a confused frown on his face. “Oh, guys, if you want to have a snog, can you at least, like, not do it in here. This is where I keep my records.”

Rick laughed with a mixture of nerves and mockery. “Oho, snogging!? Yes, I bet you'd like that Neil, you pervy! God, you're so disgusting, I hate you!” 

Vyvyan held up his hands. “Besides, this isn't where you keep your records because I decided to sell them and used the cash to buy this cupboard! So keep your stupid face out of MY cupboard!” 

Neil sighed. “Those were my records, Vyv! Could you at least give me something for taking them?”

Nodding, Vyvyan smiled. “Sure, I'll give you something Neil!” He balled his fist and punched Neil in the gut, the hippy grunting and falling to his knees. “Poof.” The metalhead grunted as he stepped over him, kicking through his door and swaggering downstairs, Rick in tow. 

“That's just fantastic. Where else is there to hide?” Rick asked, hands on his hips, a grimace on his acne riddled face. 

Vyvyan thought for a moment, scrunching his face. “Uhh… I could stuff you into a tissue box and then pretend I have a cold and that's why I keep sticking my face in there!”

Rick rolled his eyes. “That's so STUPID, Vyvyan! How am I going to fit inside a tissue box?!”

“Well, I'll have to cut your arms and legs off first!” Vyvyan yelled at him, grinning at the idea. 

Rick opened his mouth to retort when Mike strode in, looking as cool as ever. “Hi, guys. Look normal, don't do anything suspicious.” Mike stood in the middle of the pair, looking up at them. “Has anybody seen an alarm clock, cherry red, glow in the dark hands? Rattles when you shake it.”

Vyvyan got a sly smirk across his face looking at Rick. “Ah, cherry red you say? Hmm, that sounds surprisingly like the clock in your bedroom, Rick!” He stated mischievously. 

Rick tensed, glaring at him. “Shut up, Vyvyan.” He hissed through his teeth. 

Mike raised an eyebrow. “Have you taken my alarm clock, Rick? Vyv, are you sure about this?” 

Before Vyvyan could say more, Rick shouted over him. “Oh, HA HA HA! Very clever, Vyvyan! Next thing you'll be saying something stupid about how you know where everything in my bedroom is because of some nonsense about drinking too much babycham and being in my bed, and one of us not wearing any pants and having to rush out to a dissection and having to borrow a pair of pants! And that's just stupid and Mike isn't going to fall for it, are you, Mike!?”

Vyvyan’s grin grew wider and he pulled a pair of stained underwear from his pocket, stretching them between his thumbs. “What, like these?” He laughed, his head wobbling with smug satisfaction. 

Rick went beet red and snatched them, a weak punch to Vyvyan’s jaw making the metalhead smirk, not even flinching. “You bastard! You total runny bottomed, snotty nosed, pimple faced cun-” 

“Rick, I need my clock back.” Mike insisted, seemingly not bothered about the apparent scenario described. “Some people might be able to wake up at the cock’s crow but with the amount of chicken choking in this house I doubt I'll be able to hear it from Neil’s bedroom. Okay?”

Rick nodded, a little embarrassed. “Yes, Mike…” Vyvyan laughed and sat on the sofa, watching as Rick fiddled with his pigtail. “It isn't true, by the way! Vyvyan is making it all up, I swear!”

Mike nodded. “Is he also making up the hand holding? The bottom touching? The longing looks across the drawing room? Because I'll tell you now, if Vyvyan can do all that, I'm likely to ask him to make me up a fillet steak, medium rare with peppercorn sauce and inch thick chips.”

Rick stammered a reply that sounded like a string of consonants and grunts. “Well… I just… YOU BASTARDS!” He screamed and kicked the back of Vyvyan’s head, the other man grunting and standing up. He slammed his boot against the sofa, knocking Rick back with it, making him stumble back and land on the table, splintering it.

Mike raised an eyebrow as Vyvyan leapt on Rick, beginning to pummel him. He cried out as Rick kneed him in the bollocks, leaping back and kicking the leg of the table so Rick fell on the floor.   
“Yeah, I'm going to bed. Don't stay up too long fighting or… whatever.” He mumbled as he headed upstairs. 

Vyvyan kicked Rick in the ribs, suddenly tripping as Rick kicked his shins. He fell onto him, grunting as their noses touched, chests pressed together. “You sissy prick!”

Rick pushed at him, finding him too heavy to move. “Why are you so ruddy difficult!?” He yelled at Vyv. 

Vyvyan pinned Rick’s head to the floor, glaring at him. “Because you're a girly knob and I hate you.” He said to him, knee pressing between his legs, fingers tight in his hair. He bit Rick’s lip, enjoying hearing him whine and wriggle, tongue slipping into his mouth as he snogged him like one might eat a whole mango; messily and noisily. Neither had experience outside each other and it wasn't as if they could pick up any tips. But they were happy with their clumsy, wet and disgusting kisses. 

Mike looked up at Neil as he exited the bathroom, folding his arms slightly. “They still think we don't know.” He said with a slight chuckle. 

Neil sniggered as he walked to his room. “It's funny that they think they're being secretive.” He mumbled as he closed his door. 

Taking a few johnnies from his pocket, Mike threw a few onto Rick’s bed and a few onto Vyvyan’s bed. “I just hope they're a little quieter tonight.” He smiled to himself as he stepped into the bathroom.


End file.
